REDEFINING STANDARDS

Do you know how it feels like to be stared at by people because you have flaws; or to have overheard people talking about your complexion; or to be confronted publicly because of your body? Do you know how it feels like to hate yourself, like you just want to crawl out of your skin and into somebody else’s perfect skin? And then you came to realize that your flaws define your journey, your body is making you confident and strong and that your skin is colored that way to compliment others and, in return, you and you can’t change that; but, people will still continue to look at you like daggers as if you have a severe case of leprosy.

Nobody is perfect in this world and nobody seems to realize that. We spent our entire time trying to look like society's standards of perfection: we want to look flawless, skinny up to the point where bones are protruding out of our skins and beautiful even though it is already artificial. When you think you’ve achieved the angles of perfection and feel comfortable with your new remodeled skin, you then start to love yourself—but then, the paranoia sits in that no matter how much you try, you’ll never be society’s kind of perfect.

You then start to hate yourself again, go back to that phase where you just want to crawl out of your skin and be defined by your bones—but you can’t do that, you have to face reality and there won’t be rainbows and sunshines out there but puddles of black hatred that reeks of bitterness and death wishes. It’s not going to be your cup of coffee; you’re going to be thrown out in the open water, fighting the current that is yourself.

I admit, society dictates my everyday life. Social media likes give me this sense of false self-esteem; it gives me this final sigh of fulfillment each time I reach a hundred likes. And I just can’t stop myself from shaking my head because it’s wrong to ever base your self-esteem that way. There’s a reason they call it “self”-esteem because it is supposed to be self-related, and in any case, you shouldn’t accommodate the opinions of others. You shouldn’t let criticisms get into you because it will cause you to sink no matter how hard you try to swim. Think of criticisms like as if they’re water and you’re self-esteem is the boat, if you let the water get into your boat do you think your boat will continue to sail?—Exactly. 

Self-esteem should be measured by how a person deals with himself and not by social media likes.

I strained all my capabilities to be perfect; I have purchased expensive makeup to cover my flaws, started an atrocious diet that consists of just bread and lemon water—I ended up with a recurring stomachache and light headedness. In the end, I paid more money on things that make me look good—but instead made the whole situation much worse—than on things that should make a significant change in my life.

In order to completely eradicate society out of your head is, of course, to mentally isolate yourself. You need to chastise yourself because you know there are people out there who have the worst case than your minimal flaws. You should not be self-centered. You should learn to accept yourself because what society lacks now is acceptance and as the saying goes: “How are you gonna love somebody if you don’t love yourself?”  Changing society without changing yourself is like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom—it is a lost cause; and, of course, don’t contradict your words with your actions because the last thing you would want to happen is to be called a hypocrite. We must also take into consideration the fact that there's no such thing as a perfect society. Perfection, in general, is just an illusion. 

It would be difficult to completely get rid of criticisms because it has become our way of life. We know others in what the other criticizes the other one; and I know there will be those times that criticisms will really get into your head, but you run your own show, you either continue playing or make a humiliating exit while the curtains are not yet down.

I am here to try to redefine society’s standards. I am here to say to them that if I am not their type of perfect, why keep judging then? I’m here to tell you, my readers, that you’ll never be enough for society—not to break your bubble, but as what my Economics teacher in high school said: “Man in nature has no satisfaction”. In the deepest part of my brain, something tells me that it won’t make a difference but I don’t care; It’s either I continue living under the watchful eyes of the vultures of society or to continue living and loving what I want to do and what I am in the eyes of God because at the end of the day, nothing really matters but yourself. You don't have to be someone important to be heard you just have to be yourself to be the catalyst of change.